I never knew how much I would learn just by watching my child try to put on socks.
At first, she cried. Then she tried again. Then she threw the sock across the room. Then she picked it up. Then she tried again. And again. Until one day, she did it.
That was the moment I saw it. A growth mindset. Right there on my living room floor.
I didn’t know that’s what it was called back then. But now I do. A growth mindset is when you believe you can get better with effort. It’s when you say, “I can’t do it… yet,” instead of “I can’t do it.” It’s when you see mistakes as part of learning.
And I believe this is one of the most important things we can teach our kids. Not just when they start school. Not just when they’re old enough to understand big words. But even when they are small. Even when they are still learning to talk.
Here’s what I’ve learned about helping children (yes, even toddlers) build a growth mindset. It’s not about being a perfect parent. It’s about planting little seeds, day by day, in the way we talk, the way we praise, and the way we show up.
1. I Praise the Process, Not Just the Result
I used to say “Good job” all the time. It just came out. When my toddler stacked blocks. When she ate her veggies. When she used the potty.
But then I learned something. Praise is powerful. And how we praise matters.
So now, I try to be more specific. Instead of “Good job,” I say, “You worked hard on that.” Or, “I saw how you kept trying even when it was hard.” Or, “You didn’t give up.”
This tells my child that what matters is effort. Not just getting it right. It helps her connect success with trying, not just talent.
And when she fails, I don’t just brush it off. I say, “That was hard, but you didn’t stop.” Or, “It’s okay to feel upset. Let’s try again.”
This is how I teach her that learning is a journey, not a race.
2. I Let Them Struggle (A Little Bit)
This one is hard. I hate seeing my child struggle. I want to jump in and fix things. Tie the shoe. Finish the puzzle. Open the juice box.
But I try to wait.
I wait because I’ve learned that struggling is not bad. In fact, it’s good. It builds problem-solving skills. It builds confidence. It builds resilience.
So now, when my toddler is trying to zip her jacket, I give her space. I say, “I see you trying. Take your time.” And if she gets frustrated, I say, “Do you want help or do you want to try a little longer?”
Sometimes she asks for help. That’s okay too. Asking for help is also part of a growth mindset. But I don’t rush in. I let her lead.
She learns that she can do hard things. Maybe not right away. But with time. With effort. With belief.
3. I Use the Word “Yet” a Lot
Three little letters. Big magic.
My child once said, “I can’t draw a circle.”
I said, “You can’t draw a circle… yet.”
She paused. Then tried again.
That one word—“yet”—changes everything. It turns “I can’t” into “I’m learning.”
So now, “I can’t read” becomes “I can’t read yet.” “I can’t ride my bike” becomes “I can’t ride my bike yet.” “I don’t know how to do this” becomes “I don’t know how to do this yet.”
This small word opens the door to possibility. It reminds my child that learning is not about being perfect. It’s about progress.
4. I Talk About My Own Mistakes
This one was scary at first. I thought I had to be the strong one. The one who always gets it right. But then I realized something.
If my child never sees me mess up, how will she learn that it’s okay to mess up?
So now, when I spill the milk, I say, “Oops, I made a mistake. That happens. Let me clean it up.”
When I forget something, I say, “I forgot. I’ll try to do better next time.”
When I try something new and it doesn’t work, I say, “I’m still learning this. It’s hard, but I’m not giving up.”
My child watches. She learns. She sees that even grown-ups are still growing.
5. I Read Books That Teach Growth Mindset
Books are powerful. They open little minds to big ideas.
Some of our favorites are simple stories where characters try, fail, and try again. Books like The Most Magnificent Thing, Beautiful Oops, The Dot, and Rosie Revere, Engineer.
After we read, we talk. I ask, “What did the character do when it got hard?” “Did they give up?” “How did they feel?” “What would you do?”
These stories plant seeds. They teach that struggle is part of the story. That success often starts with failure. And that trying again is something to celebrate.
Even if your toddler can’t understand every word, they understand the message. Keep going. You can do hard things.
6. I Watch My Words Carefully
Words shape beliefs. The words I say become the voice in my child’s head.
So I try to say things like:
- “You’re learning.”
- “That was tricky, but you kept trying.”
- “I love how you didn’t give up.”
- “Mistakes help us grow.”
- “What did you learn from that?”
I try not to say:
- “You’re so smart.” (Instead I say, “You worked really hard on that.”)
- “That’s easy.” (If it’s easy, they’re not growing.)
- “You’re not good at that.” (Instead I say, “You’re still learning.”)
Even the smallest change in how I talk makes a big difference in how my child thinks about herself.
7. I Celebrate the Tries, Not Just the Wins
My toddler once tried to build a tower with blocks. She knocked it over 10 times. On the 11th try, it stood.
I didn’t wait until it worked to celebrate. I celebrated every try.
I clapped when she started. I smiled when she tried again. I cheered when she didn’t give up.
When she finally got it, her face lit up. Not because the tower stood. But because she knew she did it. She kept going. She believed in herself.
That’s what I want her to feel every day. Not just when she wins. But when she tries.
8. I Help Them See Progress, Not Perfection
Kids want to do things well. But they often compare themselves to others. Or to their past mistakes.
So I help my child notice her growth.
I say things like:
- “Remember when you couldn’t jump? Now look at you.”
- “You used to need help with that, and now you do it on your own.”
- “Last time you got upset and stopped. This time you tried again.”
This helps her focus on progress. On growth. On how far she’s come.
Even when it’s small. Even when no one else sees it.
9. I Use Play to Teach Big Ideas
Toddlers learn through play. So I use play to teach growth mindset too.
We build things. Knock them down. Build again. We try puzzles. Make mistakes. Try again. We draw. Crumple. Start over.
Each time I say, “You’re learning.” “Try again.” “That’s okay.” “Keep going.”
Even during pretend play, I model trying again. If a block falls, my toy says, “That didn’t work. I’ll try a new way.” My child hears it. Learns it. Lives it.
Play is where mindset begins. Where effort becomes fun. Where learning becomes a game.
10. I Model Patience and Persistence
Children don’t just listen to what we say. They watch what we do.
When I’m frustrated, I take a breath. When something is hard, I don’t quit right away. When I try something new, I laugh at my mistakes.
I show them what it looks like to have a growth mindset.
One day, I was trying to open a jar. It was stuck. I huffed and puffed and groaned.
My daughter said, “Keep trying, Mommy. You can do it.”
And I smiled. Because she was right.
The Fresh Perspective
Here’s the truth: A growth mindset isn’t just for school. It’s not just for big kids. It starts now. With how we speak. How we act. How we show love.
Even toddlers can learn that they can grow. That mistakes are okay. That effort matters. That they are not fixed, but full of potential.
And the best part? We learn, too. As we teach our kids to grow, we grow with them.
I didn’t always know how to do this. I’m still learning. Still growing. But every “yet,” every try, every moment of grace is a step forward.
So if your child is trying to put on a sock, or tie a shoe, or draw a wobbly circle, pause.
Watch. Support. Cheer them on.
You’re not just teaching a skill. You’re building a mindset.
And that mindset will carry them for the rest of their life.
