When I was little, I had a big sister. Her name was Anna. She was five years older than me. She had long brown hair and big eyes. She liked to read books. I liked to play outside. We were not the same. We did not like the same things. But she was my sister. I loved her. I still do.
When we were kids, sometimes we played. Sometimes we fought. Sometimes we shared toys. Sometimes we did not. But one thing made us close. One thing made us stay friends. One thing helped us love each other for many, many years.
That one thing is simple.
Time.
Yes. Time.
Spending time together is the #1 way to make siblings close. It sounds too easy. But it works. And it works best when it starts early. Very early. Like baby early.
Let me tell you why. And let me tell you how.
1. When We Are Small, We Learn Fast
Babies and little kids learn fast. They watch. They listen. They feel. They copy. They take in everything. That is how they grow.
So when a big brother or big sister is around, the little one watches. If they are kind, the baby learns kind. If they play, the baby learns play. If they share, the baby learns share. This is how they build love.
But if they stay apart, they don’t learn each other. They don’t know what makes the other smile. They don’t know what makes the other cry. They stay strangers. Strangers don’t grow close.
That is why time together is key.
When Anna and I were small, our mom made us do everything together. Eat together. Play together. Clean up toys together. Ride in the back seat together. At first, I didn’t always like it. I wanted to play with my friends. Anna wanted to read alone. But over time, we started to know each other. We started to laugh more. We made inside jokes. We became a team.
2. Shared Time Makes Shared Stories
You know what makes two people feel close? A secret story. A memory no one else has.
Anna and I had many.
Like the time we put on a play in the backyard and made the dog wear a crown. Or the time we got stuck in the closet during hide-and-seek and fell asleep. Or when we spilled milk and blamed it on the cat.
These were not big things. But they were our things. When we talk about them now, we smile. We say, “Remember that?” and we laugh. These stories keep us close. They remind us we grew up side by side.
So if you want siblings to love each other, give them time to make stories. Give them time to be silly. Time to mess up. Time to clean up. Time to giggle in the dark. These are the glue.
3. Time Builds Trust
Trust is big. You don’t trust someone just because they live in your house. You trust someone who listens. Who plays fair. Who keeps your secrets. Who doesn’t run away when you cry.
That kind of trust needs time. You can’t rush it. You have to live it.
When I was in first grade, I was scared of the dark. I thought monsters were under the bed. One night, Anna came into my room. She sat on my bed. She said, “There are no monsters. But if there are, I’ll fight them for you.”
I felt safe. I believed her.
Years later, when she got sick and needed me, I stayed with her. I said, “I’ll fight for you too.”
That is what time does. It makes us strong for each other. It makes us brave.
4. Early Time Beats Later Time
You can’t wait until kids are teens and then say, “Okay, be best friends now.” It doesn’t work like that. Teen years are hard. They come with phones and drama and loud music. If the bond wasn’t there before, it’s hard to make it later.
That’s why the early days matter most.
When kids are little, they don’t have walls up yet. They don’t hide feelings. They say “I love you” easy. They hug. They hold hands. This is the golden time to build love.
So how do you give siblings that kind of time?
I’ll tell you what worked for us.
5. Make Time for Nothing
Not everything has to be a “thing.” You don’t need a class. You don’t need a trip. Sometimes the best time is just… time.
Let them play in the mud. Let them build a pillow fort. Let them color. Let them sit on the floor with cereal and talk about cartoons.
These little “nothings” are actually big. Because they are together.
Our mom used to say, “You don’t need toys. You need each other.” And she was right.
6. Give Them Jobs to Do Together
Anna and I had to fold laundry together. It was boring. We hated it. But we made it fun. We made sock puppets. We made up songs. We made it a race. We turned work into play.
Doing jobs as a team helps kids learn how to help each other. It builds teamwork. And teamwork builds bonds.
So give siblings tasks they must do together. Water the plants. Wash the car. Feed the pets. Let them lead. Let them mess up. Let them solve problems together.
7. Don’t Compare Them
This one is big.
Never say, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” Or “Your sister always gets it right.”
That hurts. That breaks trust. That makes kids feel like enemies, not family.
Siblings don’t need to be the same. They just need to love each other as they are.
Anna was smart in school. I was good at sports. Mom said, “You each shine in your own way.” That helped. That made us root for each other, not fight each other.
8. Let Them Fight (A Little)
Yes, you read that right.
A little fighting is okay. It’s normal. It’s even good. It helps kids learn how to say “I’m mad” and “I’m sorry.” It teaches them how to fix things.
But don’t let the fight stay forever. Teach them how to talk. How to make up. How to hug it out.
Anna and I fought over the last cookie many times. We also made peace many times. That made our love stronger.
9. Make Sibling Time Special
Have a “Siblings Day.” Just for them. No parents. No friends. Just the two (or three or four) of them.
Have a movie night. Make popcorn. Let them pick the film. Or have a “Sibling Bake Day.” Let them make cookies (and a mess). Let them take silly pictures. Let them stay up late and whisper.
These times are magic.
They show kids that being a brother or sister is not just a title. It’s a gift.
10. Keep It Going As They Grow
Even when kids get big, the bond still needs care.
Anna and I are grown-ups now. We have jobs. We live in different places. But we still talk. We still send each other dumb memes. We still say “I love you.”
Why? Because the bond was made early. Because we had time.
We still build new memories. We still laugh about old ones.
And we still know that no matter what, we are there for each other.
Always.
The Takeaway
If I had to give one tip to parents, or to kids, or to anyone who wants their children to grow up as best friends, it would be this:
Don’t wait.
Start early.
Give them time. Lots of time. Time to play. Time to laugh. Time to be bored. Time to fight. Time to forgive. Time to love.
Because love needs time.
And siblings, more than anyone, need each other.
The world is big. Life is hard. But when you have a brother or sister who knows you, who’s been there since the start, it makes the world a little softer.
That kind of bond is not made in a day.
But it starts with one.
One shared toy. One inside joke. One “Let’s go play.”
And then another.
And another.
Until one day, you look back and say:
“We were always together. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
